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| Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:19 am Be Well enzine Oct 24 2006 |
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BE WELL! (tm)
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24 October 2006 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ISSN 1549-0017
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Published monthly for The Science of Being Well Network
by Dr. Alexandra Gayek
http://tinyurl.com/t95sp
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In this edition ...
1. WELCOME!
2. Quotations to Heal by: Helping Yourself, Helping Others
3. Feature Article: How to Help
4. Readers Write
5. The Last Word: Ho'oponopono
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1. WELCOME!
BE WELL!(tm) is provided to assist you in making healing and
wellness a reality, not just a nice promise.
Thanks for sending this ezine to your friends, and sending them
to
--> http://tinyurl.com/t95sp
to get their own copy of the book, the audiobook, the Infinite
Coach(tm) Audio Set, and the other supportive resources there.
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2. QUOTATIONS TO HEAL BY: HELPING YOURSELF, HELPING OTHERS
You can help others in the world more by making the most of
yourself than in any other way.
-- Earl Nightingale
You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him to find
it within himself.
-- Galileo Galilei
At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from
another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep
gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.
-- Albert Schweitzer
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3. FEATURE ARTICLE: HOW TO HELP
"When he came home this last Monday, he looked like death
warmed-over. He had lost a lot of weight, walked like an old
man, had shortness of breath, and up until two days ago, he
seemed to be leaving life here.
"It took all my concentration to keep the vision of perfect
health. And Weds. morning at 3 a.m. I woke up totally freaked
that Hermann might have made the decision to go. His breath was
so labored as he slept and I frantically tried to repeat
affirmations, yet I was uneasy.
"I got up, praying for guidance, and got on the internet to
search, and went to a favorite site of mine,
www.educate-yourself.org. And for an odd reason, I felt drawn to
the "current" section, where there was an article called
"Ho'oponopono", from July 25th, 2006.
"In the article, it described how a psychologist single-handedly
healed a ward of criminally-insane inmates at Hawaii State
Hospital. It is a great story.
"I have been using the technique on Hermann for the last two
days, and he is changing before my very eyes! He is getting
strong, his eyes twinkle, he is smiling, his voice is resonant,
his step firm, the shortness of breath is quite lessened, the
coughing is almost gone, and he has a libido!!! I am floored.
"Well, this day was a gift from Heaven and I feel so grateful!
With the new method I am using, the fear that was gaining
ground in my brain is gone. I have the vision of perfect health
again. The future is not fearful, and I feel love, and more
love."
This is part of a letter from beloved reader Mary Joy Harvest.
The article to which she refers is reprinted below in "The Last
Word," along with some other useful links on the subject.
In short, the technique can be as simple as practicing "I love
you." "I'm sorry." "Thank you."
The question is, how could this possibly work to heal someone
else?
Doesn't Mr. Wattles say that you can only heal yourself?
One of the most common questions I get is this:
How can I help my child/parent/spouse/sibling/
friend to heal when that person is not
receptive to, or unable to follow "The Science
of Being Well?"
Substitute the word "heal" with any word that matches what you
wish for those close to you.
How can I help my husband to lose weight?
How can I help my daughter to make healthier eating choices?
How can I help my sister to stop smoking?
Maybe you can relate. Someone in your life appears to be doing
the exact opposite of what you think that person needs to do in
order to get the results you want her or him to have. Those
results are always something that would be "good" for the
person, and may even be results that the person SAYS he or she
wants.
It's easy to focus your attention on the offending behavior.
That approach is also the most likely method of making the
problem worse.
Think about it for a moment.
How effective is nagging, prodding, pleading, or withholding
affection in getting someone to change?
WHY it doesn't work, and why it's altogether a bad idea, would
be the subject of a whole book.
For now, let's stick to the simple truth.
People naturally change in the direction of health when they
feel safe, accepted, and loved exactly as they are, and when
their attention is distracted AWAY from "the problem."
Even if there is only ONE PERSON or ONE ANIMAL in someone's life
who she knows loves her unconditionally and can always make her
laugh, she can heal.
Even if there is only ONE PERSON or ONE ANIMAL in YOUR life who
YOU know loves YOU unconditionally and can always make YOU
laugh, YOU can heal. That person, by the way, can be YOU!
And you can be that person for someone else.
If you're thinking you don't have a sense of humor, remember
that the goal is distraction from thinking about worrisome or
negative things. It can work just as well to distract yourself
or your loved one with overwhelming beauty, engaging in an
absorbing activity that the person loves. This is most effective
if it's something empowering at which the person is very
skillful.
And it's best, of course, if it's something FUN!
HOWEVER, and it's a BIG HOWEVER, YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS TRYING TO
GET SOMEONE ELSE TO CHANGE.
Mr. Wattles says:
"The will must never be used upon any person or
thing external to you, and it should never be
used upon your own body. The sole legitimate
use of the will is in determining to what you
shall give your attention and what you shall
think about the things to which your attention
is given."
How Jesus healed people was that he trained himself to see only
the perfection in himself and others. He did not SEE them as
sick. And they got well when they focused on his perfection
instead of their problems.
They also WANTED to get well, were WILLING to be well, and had
FAITH that they WOULD be well.
You may or may not already inspire this degree of desire,
willingness, and faith in others you are wanting to help.
You won't get there by beating others over the head with what
THEY need to do.
The way to help is to turn your attention to growing your own
beautiful mental garden. Love YOURSELF in spite of your
judgements and shortcomings. Distract YOURSELF with thoughts and
activities more fun than your worries or irritation.
If you see something you don't like in others, focus on making
peace inside YOURSELF with that thing you don't like.
With this understanding, see what happens when YOU practice "I
love you." "I'm sorry." "Thank you."
And be sure to read the article in "The Last Word: Ho'oponopono"
below.
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4. READERS WRITE
Dear Dr. Gayek,
Thank you for printing that reminder about the Infinite
Coach(tm) in your last newsletter. I had forgotten all about my
tapes that I bought a long time ago.
I was in the pits, and you reminded me I had the resources right
there to help me out. I started playing them while I was driving
around, and it was like I had never heard them before! You know
how they say when the student is ready the teacher will appear?
I must not have been ready before, because this time I heard you
say all these new things. I mean I really got it! I felt SO much
better. I think I listened to the one on addictions about five
times in a row because it is so encouraging. It made me feel
happy and positive about my life, which is a BIG switch from how
I was feeling.
I was able to stop bingeing and get back on track.
Thank you SO MUCH for making those tapes.
Sincerely,
Rosie J. Ellison
Seattle, Washington
*****
Rosie, I know what you mean about hearing new things in
something you've heard before. You're expressing perfectly what
Mr. Wattles says about receiving the good that is trying to come
to us. It's there all along, and it's just a matter of being
open to it and getting ourselves ready to receive it. Thanks for
being willing!
*****
My friend, the Infinite Coach(tm) Audio Set was originally
designed to give you the first parts of the course I was writing
to help you effectively put "The Science of Being Well" to work
in your life. I listen to the tapes myself when I get stuck.
Could they help you too?
=> http://tinyurl.com/t95sp
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5. THE LAST WORD: HO'OPONOPONO
First, the article by Joe Vitale that our friend Mary Joy
discovered:
Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a
complete ward of criminally insane patients -- without ever
seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate's
chart and then look within himself to see how he created that
person's illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.
When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend.
How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could
even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally
insane?
It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the
story.
However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the
therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho
'oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn't let it leave
my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more.
I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean that I am
responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my
hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility
that way. We're responsible for what we do, not what anyone else
does. The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill
people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total
responsibility.
His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour
talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the
complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he
worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where
they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists
quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or
simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their
backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It
was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.
Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an
office and to review their files. While he looked at those
files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself,
patients began to heal.
"After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being
allowed to walk freely," he told me. "Others who had to be
heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those
who had no chance of ever being released were being freed."
I was in awe.
"Not only that," he went on, "but the staff began to enjoy
coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended
up with more staff than we needed because patients were being
released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that
ward is closed."
This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: "What
were you doing within yourself that caused those people to
change?"
"I was simply healing the part of me that created them," he
said.
I didn't understand.
Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means
that everything in your life - simply because it is in your
life--is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire
world is your creation.
Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say
or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my
life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if
you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything
you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your
responsibility because it is in your life.
This means that terrorist activity, the president, the
economy--anything you experience and don't like--is up for you
to heal. They don't exist, in a manner of speaking, except as
projections from inside you. The problem isn't with them, it's
with you, and to change them, you have to change you.
I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually
live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I
spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and
in ho 'oponopono means loving yourself. If you want to improve
your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure
anyone--even a mentally ill criminal--you do it by healing you.
I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he
doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients' files?
"I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over
again," he explained.
That's it?
That's it.
Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve
yourself, and as you improve yourself, your improve your world.
Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day,
someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have
handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying
to reason with the person who sent the nasty message. This time,
I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying, "I'm
sorry" and "I love you," I didn't say it to anyone in
particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal
within me what was creating the outer circumstance.
Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He
apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't
take any outward action to get that apology. I didn't even write
him back. Yet, by saying "I love you," I somehow healed within
me what was creating him.
I later attended a ho'oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He's
now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is
somewhat reclusive. He praised my book, The Attractor Factor. He
told me that as I improve myself, my book's vibration will
raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In short, as
I improve, my readers will improve.
"What about the books that are already sold and out there?" I
asked.
"They aren't out there," he explained, once again blowing my
mind with his mystic wisdom. "They are still in you."
In short, there is no out there.
It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique
with the depth it deserves. Suffice it to say that whenever you
want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to
look: inside you.
"When you look, do it with love."
*****
Joe Vitale's home site is http://www.mrfire.com. You can get his
book, "The Attractor Factor," here:
--> http://tinyurl.com/t95sp
You can read Dr. Len's description of the technique here:
--> http://www.hooponopono.org/Who's%20in%20charge-Eng.html
You'll find other interesting articles at:
--> http://www.hooponopono.org
*****
Tune in again next month for another delicious edition of what I
hope is food for your spirit.
Until then,
Trusting that you will go on until the priceless blessing of
perfect health is yours, I wish you infinite blessings along
the way.
EXPECT GOOD THINGS!
Warmly,
Alexandra
P.S. I love you. I'm sorry. Thank you.
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BE WELL! (tm) is a trademark of Alexandra Gayek, ND, Seattle, WA
Copyright (c)2006 Alexandra Gayek, ND. You are welcome to
forward this entire ezine to friends, or quote sections of it as
long as you include the author, copyright, name of the ezine,
and website, http://tinyurl.com/t95sp
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_________________
chris stevens
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